Jason Stamper's Blog

Fly on the IT Wall
January 27, 2005

If only we could listen in on the next strategy meeting between Oracle CEO Larry Ellison and Oracle president Charles (Chuck) Phillips…

Larry: "Nice job Chuck - we finally managed to bag PeopleSoft. I thought I was going to have to keep telling jokes about Craigy Conway and his dog for another year."

Chuck: "A narrow escape for sure. And Project Fusion is a stroke of genius - it will keep the questions about integration at bay for a good few years."

Larry: "Safe! Say, Chuck, who are we gonna' buy next then?"

Chuck: "Gee I don't know, we've just blown nearly all our cash on PeopleSoft, even though we already had our own applications suite and still recommend it over theirs."

Larry: "Don't bore me with details, man - I'm the ideas guy. What about that great little midmarket enterprise applications player - George, or Edward or something?"

Chuck: "You mean J.D. Edwards. We bought them already, Larry - they were part of PeopleSoft."

Larry: "We did? Damn it! No one tells me anything any more. I suppose you're gonna say we recommend our suite over theirs too?"

Chuck: "Got it in one, Larry."

Larry: "I'm still confused, Chuck. If these companies are so good we go out and buy them, why don't we want to sell their software?"

Chuck: "Lazza, man - you've got to learn to chill out! You're not paid to come up with strategy, that's my job - at least it is until I get a better offer and go back to being a hot-shot analyst."

Larry: "For real. But if strategy isn't my bag any more, what should I do?"

Chuck: "Gee Larry, don't you know? Tell all the best jokes about Microsoft at our company conferences, pre-announce stuff we aren't actually ready to deliver, sail yachts, fly jets, and generally have a good time."

Larry: "Wow, that sounds cool! When can I start?"

Chuck: "Err, Larry, you've been doing that since 1977."

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Posted by on January 27, 2005 10:03 AM